{"product_id":"zero-to-sixty-greyhound-division-est-couch-potato-wing","title":"Zero To Sixty","description":"\u003ch3\u003e💨 Then Straight Back To Bed\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eForty seconds of genuinely breathtaking speed, followed by nineteen hours horizontal on the good sofa. The world's fastest couch potato, and he knows exactly what he is.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e🧵 The Tee Itself\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePrinted on 100% ring-spun Comfort Colors cotton — the heavyweight, garment-dyed kind that feels like you've owned it for years the moment it leaves the bag (we won't say a word). A relaxed, lived-in unisex fit that holds up to muddy zoomies, couch naps, and every good day in between. Printed, packed, and shipped in the USA.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e🛁 How to Keep It Looking Good\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e(Longer than the expensive dog bed lasted, anyway.)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCold water only — save the hot baths for the dog who hates them.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTurn it inside out before washing — protect the good boy on the front.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGentle detergent — this garment-dyed cotton is easygoing, keep it that way.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFirst wash may bleed a little, so keep it clear of your good whites.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTumble dry low or hang dry — air-drying just means more time at the park.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eDrying\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eLow heat or air-dry to keep the soft, lived-in feel and avoid shrinkage.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePull it out promptly to dodge the wrinkles.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eA Few More Things\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSkip bleach and harsh detergents — they fade the colour.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNo fabric softener — it dulls the texture.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDon't iron directly on the print — turn it inside out or use a pressing cloth.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Bay \/ S","offer_id":51638882042134,"sku":"64563648793953873604","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Berry \/ S","offer_id":51638882074902,"sku":"32820325489725063124","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue Jean \/ S","offer_id":51638882107670,"sku":"25061458292984320997","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Grey \/ S","offer_id":51638882140438,"sku":"21122684055875696831","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ 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